This week, the blog turned one and I turned 46.
When I first started this project, I was in need of some renewal and purpose in the post-holiday season. January is a cold and depressing month, and even though it’s my birthday, I seem to be ultra-sensitive to everyone’s grumbling which makes me susceptible to the blahs.
But January is also the beginning of a new year and a good time for a fresh start, so I went in search of a new creative pursuit. I had always thought about starting my own blog but couldn’t come up with a worthy theme. Up until 12 months ago, it hadn’t even occurred to me that I had plenty of material to mine in my own backyard.
A few people suggested I write about the things I’d been dealing with since my divorce, but I had been avoiding it for fear of reliving the pain – which had subsided but not altogether disappeared. As I revisited the journal I kept after my marriage ended, I realized that grief still had a stranglehold on me. It was preventing me from fully opening up and allowing myself to be vulnerable in many aspects of my life – in my relationships, in my work and in my writing.
So I started this blog as a way to work through my layers of “stuff” and to hopefully find and accept the reason for my divorce. As Steve Jobs once said, “You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.”
As those dots began to connect, I started to truly understand how cathartic it was to talk about what I’d experienced. And then an amazing thing happened. Other people reached out to me with their stories. Some said they could relate my musings to their own lives, even if they had not gone through a divorce. I also discovered a community of fellow bloggers and found comfort and kinship in how they shared their “stuff” too.
Over the past year, writing about my divorce has taught me about letting go, moving on and finding gratitude – but it’s your support, kindness and encouragement that has really been transformative. Thank you for helping me to find purpose and meaning where there was once only darkness. Dear readers – you too, are a gift. I am not sure which direction the blog will take in the year ahead, but I am looking forward to the journey even if that means revisiting the past. I hope you will join me.